I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
