i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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