The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
