My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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