porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just want nice things and good sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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