guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
