"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
