you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
