I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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