I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just found a bag of teeth...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
