i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
