Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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