I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
