She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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