What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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