Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
