I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
