she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
