It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
