I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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