Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
