those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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