New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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