so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
