He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
