sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
