Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
