I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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