Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
