the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
