Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
