What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Can I color on your dick again?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
