But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
