dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
dude. I can hear the air.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
