The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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