I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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