I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
