That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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