There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
