i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize
