Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
