Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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