He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
