Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
