So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
