you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
