One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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