there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
