Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
