sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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