I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
