I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
